Yup, it’s that time again. Where we revisit all the glorious trends and events that graced us in the past year. Welcome to what you’ve been waiting patiently for;

Afro Teens’ A Year in Review.

Before we begin to reminisce and laugh to stupor, we advise that you go get some choppings. Drop your device for just a sec. Some nice food/ snacks or even Garri with chilled water, whatever will keep you reading at a go. This is a particularly long one, but let’s dive right in.

Remember when they called 2022, (2020 * 2)? They might have been right *Shrug*

Trends.

This is our specially reviewed collection of memorable that passed through the gates of social media.

“Bunch of Women”

Although this was ridiculously hilarious when the audio was discovered on tiktok, it has a tragic story behind it.

Ms. Blessing aka “Bunch of Women” took her then estranged husband to the court of the show; “Judging matters” to seek justice for herself and her children and exposed all the things she had experienced in her marriage.

Her marriage was a broken one, to say the least, as seen by the other also coincidentally funny testimonies.

As she reports to “Lucky Udu”, she found him with 8 women on their matrimonial bed.

Eventually, with the help of the court, she reunited with her husband. We wish her the very best!

“Playing”

Its safe to say that 2022 can also be considered the year of “Playing”

The first introduction to the ‘Chronicles of Play” was;

• Stop Playing- By our interpretation, this is the act of underestimating of someone or something. Make it make sense you say? Stop playing collocates (Coughs in English proficiency) with “with me” So when someone says that, it’s a note that you shouldn’t underrate them.
• Is this playing? – Of course, we have to give credit to “Oba Solomon” for this particular play. He really pushed the playing movement. When someone says this, its either that they are witnessing rubbish going on or they are just downright surprised by something. (Usually no the good kind of suprises)
• Finally, my favourite and probably most important in the playing chronicles; “Dey Play, Just dey play.” – Imagine this scenario playing out (you see what I did there? Hehe.); your friend is not taking reading seriously and exams are almost here. He’s not taking his life seriously, that’s where you say………

“We are making money, you’re sleeping, geng shit.”

Don’t sleep, don’t sleep, wake up and hustle. We don’t need to say it twice.

“God abeg, I don’t wanna be a mechanic, I wanna be a baller.”

Haew! This was premium motivation to step up, make money and live well. It’s enough of wanting to be abler like the bosses on Insta, it’s very possible to join them.

Although, if as a mechanic, one fixes all the ballers’ cars, that is an automatic promotion to baller level. Remember; Work smarter not harder.

“Rich Keeds”

No. Not rich kids, rich keeds. Or as Sabinus would rather have it; “He’s not rich, he’s wealthy.”

“Shey you dey whine mi ni………”

Four minutes, fifty-three seconds of pure vibes and ecstasy. I’m pretty sure that the creator; Austine Emmanuel, wouldn’t have expected it to be such a cultural reset.

There’s no further explanation needed. It’s exactly as it says; Shey you dey whine mi ni?

“Murife don’t run!”

A dog is chasing me and you said I shouldn’t run? Alakoba ni yin. You have bad pans for me that’s why you are spouting such rubbish.

“I have feelings for you, I have feelings for you. Taaaa get out!”

2022 gave many signs that y’all should steer clear of relationships then. The first warning came from one of our ogs; Burna Boy, through Last Last. This audio too was another warning. But unfortunately, many individuals refused to be swayed and still fell in love. Sigh. But as we have come to realize it, na who go chop breakfast go still chop breakfast.

I’m grateful that I remained single and focused. (Was this by choice? Probably not.)

“Miracle No dey Tire Master Jesus!”

For real, it doesn’t!

“The hip dance.”

Ah yes, the international tiktok waist movement. The origin of this addicting movement is unknown to us here at Afro Teens, but we are grateful regardless for its inception. The dance just fits right in almost any song. If I can do it, anyone should be able to (considering I’m not that great of a dancer). But I have still seen some horrible imitations. Let’s leave it at that.

“Help me Help me!”

Help me! Help me! Help me! E dey carry me go where I no know. Was what a female officer screamed in a car carrying her indeed to where she didn’t know. The best part was Asake sampling it on Peace Be Unto You (PBUY).  

Music

Lat year was a pretty historic one for music. There was no single moment on static worldwide. Big timers, fast rising stars and the like dropped amazing hits back to back.

Afrobeats

We as Africans have already known that this popping genre of music was going to take the global stage by storm. And that it did. Here’s our list of Artistes and hits that made huge waves worldwide.

• Burna Boy – Last Last. This breakfast catalyst. This song moved fans, old and new in so many ways.
• Asake ft Burna Boy – Sungba Remix. Asake is by no means a new player in the game, but he showed that he was ready to stay with his record-breaking album; Mr Money With The Vibe.
• Rema ft Selena Gomez – Calm Down. Remmy boy has a way with people, and this jam made it that much more obvious how loved he is all over.
• Oxlade – KuLoSa. From a Colors song, to tiktok dance craze, no one would have expected it to surge that much. This just shows that Afrobeats is finally getting the recognition it truly deserves.
• Omah Lay, Justin Bieber – Attention. Omah Lay meant business in 2022. Boy Alone is a testament to that.
• Kizz Daniel, Tekno – Buga (Lo Lo Lo). This song had African mummies, children and everyone in between in a chokehold. So simple yet essential for literally Bugaing.

• Tems, Rihanna – No woman no Cry, Lift me up. Everyone’s superstar. Her beautiful rendition of Bob Marley’s masterpiece to the working with Rihanna on the latter, Tems shattered expectations. First Nigerian to be nominated for an Oscar and a Golden globe. Also adding a grammy nomination. WOW.

International Music

Last year saw the release of music from huge superstars around the world. Rihanna made a 6-year comeback with Lift me up, Kendrick Lamar released the outstanding 19 track album; Mr Morales and The Big steppers after 5 years since DAMN. Queen Bey released THE album; RENAISSANCE.

Generally, music was THE thing last year.

Elections Campaigning.

The 2023 elections are seemingly a very crucial one for Nigerian history, and the most has been attached to it. With the state of the country, the best decision for we need to put in power needs to be made. A complete refresh is what we need. Exercise your right and vote for our future! Here’s a link to Taymesan’s podcast on Nigerian Politics for Dummies.

The three super powered candidates.

These are the three individuals that have garnered the most attention for presidency.

They are;(In no particular order)

• Peter Gregory Obi.
• Bola Ahmed Tinubu.
• Atiku Abubakar.

Let’s explore into them a bit.

Peter Obi.

~ Born 19^th of July, 1961 in Onitsha, Anambra State.

He is a Nigerian politician, business man and former governor of Anambra State.

He became Labour Party’s  (LP) presidential candidate in May of 2022, after leaving the Peoples Democratic Party (PDP).

The Obidient Movement includes his numerous supporters known as “Obidients” which a large portion of them include youths 30 and younger. This movement included the One Million Man Marches. His political campaign has been said to be the biggest movement in recent Nigerian history.

He is in our opinion, an insanely strong competitor.

Source: Wikipedia.

Bola Tinubu.

~Born 29^th of March, 1952 in Lagos State.

He is an accountant, business man, politician and the presidential candidate for the All Progressive Congress party (APC). He was also the 12^th governor of Lagos State. There have been many things associated with him, like the Bullion van incident at 2019. We here like to regard him as the content king of the year.

This is a short (Coughs) List of all the trends that have come out for his presidential campaign.

1. “A town hall different, from bala blue, blublu, bulaba…… In our opinion, this is the biggest, most shared of them all. Because why not?”
2. “60 billion, they couldn’t generate, enough kilowatt energy to make a popcorn…..”
3. “Recruit 50 million youths into the army? And what they will eat? Cassava, Agbado, corn…..”
4. “I will turn the so called yahoo boys, into experts in manufacturing and creation of chips that is nddaoja….” (We ask that you pardon us, this was our best interpretation of what he said.)
5. “Do you love me? (X 3), go and take your APV, APC, and you must vote.” (I think you get his drift.)
6. “They spent more than 60 billion dollars. They forget, that transmission line, is a super highway, for a generated electricity in power. They couldn’t even make a down payment, for a roasted corn, for that electricity.” ( It doesn’t take you to be rocket scientist to know that he appreciates the beauty that is corn and its relations a lot.)
7. “And our broom shall be symbol. Buy broom. Broommm, brooommmm, broommmm, brooooommmmmmm.”
8. “Today, I have come home to Kano. All I want to do is dance. I want music.”
9. “We will not you give you a slight clap, or a soaked slice of bread.”
10. “Obi, Obi, Ah Import and export.”
11.  “If they say, they want a change of government, just tell them, we like to be polite, but shurup your mouth.”
12. “Oba iyopka yeeee!”
13. “For what? Is it for Eba? Is it for Garri? Is it for beans and dodo? Yes, I want to be president for you.”

There are so many, but please manage what our content king has created for us. For what it is, we give credit to him for coming up with these fabulous trend setters. Please get your APV. Sigh.

PS: When you read all his statements aloud, put some action to your tone.

Atiku Abubakar.

~Born 25^th of November, 1946, in Jada, Adamawa State.

He is a politician and a businessman. He was once the vice president of Nigeria from 29^th of May, 1999 to the 29^th of May, 2007. He is the presidential candidate for the Peoples Democratic Party. He’s another strong competitor known to have run for the post 4times in 22 years.

We believe in carefully evaluating every contender and voting who fits the description of what Nigeria needs into power. Use your voting power to move this country forward.

Tragedies.

2022 witnessed the advent of the devastating Russo-Ukrainian war. The 24^th of February of said year saw Russia launch a full-scale invasion of its neighbor; Ukraine. An exchange of military might bore the desecration of various lives and properties. This 6-month event displaced a lot of Ukrainian citizens from their settlements. For more information see Aljazeera’s Timeline of the war.

2022 also introduced a lot of things in the British Royalty.

Queen Elizabeth II was recorded as the longest reigning monarch in British history, spending 70 years on the throne. She celebrated her Platinum Jubilee shortly before her demise on the 8^th of September, 2022. Her death is recorded as one of the most viewed events in world history. She was succeeded by King Charles III of the United Kingdom.

It was a year of floods in many places in Pakistan, US and Nigerian. A woman was brutally, murdered in Iran by morality police which sparked nationwide protest for women rights. This subsequently led to censorship and arresting of protesters.

Nigeria had its own share of tragic news. There was the Abuja – Kaduna train attack, the St Francis Catholic Church, Owo massacre, and many more random killings in the whole region.

We sympathize with the one who are gone and their families. May their souls rest in perfect peace.

ASUU STRIKE

7 months plus of stay at home. This was definitely a trying time. From the 14^th of February till mid-October, it was  the strike was bloody. ASUU demanded 3 trillion Naira. Omo. Read more here.

The Qatar 2022 World Cup.

This was definitely a momentous event. Probably the best world cup in history. Qatar spared no expenses to providing premium entertainment. The two G.O.A.T.S started of the anticipation of the event with the Louis Vuitton sponsored picture. That shook the internet. Morocco made history as the only African country to advance to the semi-finals. The peak moment of it all was the Argentina vs France march. I have no words to perfectly describe that insane match. It was truly glorious.

The Conclusion

Thank you for making it all this way. You must have experienced a lot of emotions recapping all that happened last year. 2022 was a pretty significant moment in history. We hope that despite all the various things that occurred, you came outa better person, ready to leave your mark on the world.

We truly appreciate all the love and support you showed us in 2022. We want to continue to grow and give you amazing content every step of the way. Stick around for more fantastic updates.

Yours Truly,

Afro Teens.